questions that should never have to be asked...

you wake up to start your day; the same way as any other.  you do your morning ritual and head haphazardly to the kitchen to start breakfast.  it hasn't accrued to you or any one in the family what is about to happen or where this day will end.  we just naturally assume the day will either go as planned or it will be as routine as any other day...  i use to think this was how normal people lived their lives..   no surprises, no worries, no problems, just ordinary life obstacles that happen in every day people lives....
it doesn't always happen that way.. 
 there are some, like myself for instance, who use to judge the day by the battles won and lost..  did i get to eat a warm dinner?  did i get to take a shower before changing clothes to head back to school?  were my brothers and sisters safe if i wasn't there to protect them?  did everyone my age have to fight to survive, to become a whole person instead of a fragmented personality fighting to stay alive....?  I wondered..   you would walk or drive down a residential neighborhood and see the different family together.  Happy.  Loving.  Togetherness.  then you would continue the walk or drive and you would see a light.  not a bright light, just a small single light off in the distance..  you would stare at this light as if it were talking to you, telling you that it will be okay.  then you would realize you were back to where you lived..   you would wonder, is tonight going to be okay?   did they get drunk and fight again?  did he get drunk while your mother was at work..  you would be alone with younger siblings needing care...  could you make sure there was peace in the house that night so everyone would be safe....   
if you could climb into bed and be asleep before he came home or at least pretend to be sleeping would he leave you alone...   if mom was working second shift and come home to late would he be asleep, waiting on her or would he be drunk following her to make sure she didn't do anything she was suppose to...   
so many questions for a young teenage girl to think about when she woke up in the morning....   then there would me time you would have to hide a bruise that you receive from being beaten the night before or held down and raped again..  all the time knowing that the siblings were silently crying and praying for my safety; yet, hoping that they wouldn't be next...
what would happen when you got to school?  would the teachers know?  they were grownups could they tell?  if i asked for help, would anyone believe me...?   how was i going to concentrate on studies with such a head ache from having my head pounded up against the hard floor for fighting back or saying no...  
how could all these things go through a mind of a youngster so early in the morning and not yet having breakfast, if there was anything in the house to eat anyway...   
it is this way more often than not..  i did speak up a few times.  no one believed me.  he told others i was on drugs and refused to listen to authority...   i tried...  
these are just thoughts and not actual events..   the events would be more horrific then you could image...  
i grew up and still have nights where i wake up screaming for help, sweating from running for safety and shaking from being terribly afraid.   i still find myself going into buildings where i memorize where the exits are, where the chairs are sitting and where would the safest place be to at that time...  i still look at people and every great once in a while i will get the feeling that he is there, hiding inside of someone..  my life has never been normal..  i was raised learning who to and who not to allow close to me..  i wouldn't allow anyone see how much pain i was really feeling.,,,  the more i hurt inside the more i would smile and use humor on the outside...
now that i am older and have children and grandchildren i still worry.  i try to talk with them often.. just to reassure myself that they were out of harms way...  still yet to this day i look back on my childhood years as a battle of survival..  i eventually won but my scars are deep.  
do you know some one who has went through this?  maybe you or a friend....  all that matters now is i have my thoughts on papers and i am just now beginning to heal from all of these questions....

A BIT ABOUT ME AND MORE ABOUT QUARTZ CRYSTALS

       This is my first attempt at writing a blog.. I can't believe all the things that are involved. Then when you have a tech savvy person such as myself with all these high tech words and gadgets. I find myself looking up definitions on google or finding the nearest phone and giving a call to one of my sons, so who ever isn't busy, can explain what it is or was that I am or still could be wondering about.. I have built a web page with the help of the company (who I won't mention) host our site..

Let me introduce myself.. My name is Becky and I am a grandmother of 5 wonderful grand children.. My sons have been in the military or are active military... My youngest son's wife is active military... AS OF RIGHT NOW, they are all stateside for once.....
My partner Randy and I run and operate a quartz crystal mine here in Arkansas... We dig and sell crystals that we dig from the mine.. check out our web page www.sweetsurrendercrystals.com We do allow diggers to come and play in the dirt so they too can have a chance to find crystals...

Let me tell you a little about crystals and a bit of the history...

Quartz crystals have a tendency to bring on different questions. At times, some of the discussions about crystals can become very lengthy and drawn out.. Crystals are dug all over the world. Although right here in Arkansas there are some of the most perfect, clean, clear and unique that you will ever find.. This area is called the quartz crystal capital of the world because of the large concentration of them here in the Ouachita Mountains... A few of the old timers will tell you how they use to go out with their mule, buckets, pick axes and digging bars. They would dig a whole until they found the crystals and would spend the day there.. If the pocket or seam dried up they would continue to dig. Some would dig holes 30 feet or more and they did this by hand. They only thing that has changed in digging crystals is we now have bull dozers and track hoes.. BUT, when it comes to digging the crystal you are right there in the hole digging them out by hand they way it has been done for years....

If you are new to quartz crystals, make sure you do a little research on the type of crystal you may be wanting.. There are a few assorted individuals who would love to take advantage of you.. Ask questions, they is they only way to learn.. Diggers and collectors love to talk about digging and the different crystals.. Plus, there has been some cut glass that looks like crystals that have come from overseas...

Then there is the metaphysical aspect. For centuries quartz crystals have been sought out for their energy, healing properties and many other uses... History dates back 100's of thousand of years.. There is data that can be tracked back as far as the Greek and Romans using them for different tools, best know for cutting. Most of the physical descriptions date back that far... Shamans, Holy Men and many metaphysical use crystals in part of their work along with many other minerals and spices...

It is funny when I am talking to elementary children and explain to them that if it wasn't for crystals we wouldn't have batteries, clocks or sometimes even their computers.. Because of the crystals piezoelectric energy, our lives have been made to be some much simpler....